NOWHERE
NEAR MONET
     BY JIMMY CHEN
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JIMMY CHEN lives in San Francisco. His fiction appears in McSweeney's 15. You can also find him at Pindeldyboz, Bullfight Review and Muse Apprentice Guild, among others.

jimmychenchen AT yahoo DOT com

© 2008 Jimmy Chen
IMAGINE a stupid girl on the train, not even reading a book or anything, not even slightly interested in the passing blur of landscape. Just sitting there. That's her. That's Bunny. She not here anymore but when I was with her she was.

She ain't retarded but she talks funny like mumbling softly. You can't understand a thing she says. I yell into the phone What? but that don't make her talk any normaler. She give me directions to her room. She says take a left and I say Is that right? I got her number in the back pages. 19yr old Hot Blond $60 BJ Special. She ain't retarded and she ain't blond. She got nothing but red hair. She pulls on it, tugs on it, winds it up, touches it all the time.

Enter room thirty which was on the second floor and that confused me. Room was hot and the blinds were down and there were slashes of slanted yellow light all over the walls. The TV was on and her fingers smelled like cigarettes. Between guys she smokes in the closet because some guys don't like smoke and in this business it's all about the guys. I come into the room and she comes out of the closet and we meet.

Take off my shoes first then my pants. Leave my shirt on because my chest has nothing to do with what we're about to do. Sit down next to her on the bed and lie back and the rest of me goes up hard and I see her red hair like a haystack under a setting sun bobbing up and down and her mouth is tired and dry but that's no problem because I'm already there.

Takes off her cutoff jeans and lays back. I can smell other guys in her. Judge Judy is being very mean to some dumb fat guy on the TV and even though the court is mostly brown it casts a blue glow onto her open legs. Her hip bones jut out and her knees are two hard cue balls. Problem is she don't look me in the eyes. She cranes her neck away from me, grabs onto her hair, and the tugging begins.

Put my socks and shoes and pants back on and say Thank you and she says Sorry about that. Sorry about what I ask and she says it hurt her. This confuses me because why is she the one saying sorry? I say It was nice for me and I’m sorry if I hurt you. I got my hand on the door knob and she's sitting on the bed and I'm standing over her. I see her hairline parted down the middle. It's a soft white line going backwards like a road.

Walk down the stairs and there's a line in the lobby. Step outside into this world. There is a train of loneliness and all the blood gets clogged up until it explodes. Glory happens, then it falls, and nobody cares about the stupid girl. They smile and I smile back because I know that they know what I just did and they know that I know what they're about to do.



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